ANNOUNCEMENTS, SPECIAL EVENTS

• With love and joy we introduce our beautiful baby boy...
• Sweet as candy, good as gold, our precious baby girl Elizabeth, a miracle to hold.
• Christopher joined our family through the miracle of adoption on july 1st.
• We can't believe it's been a year, Sandra's first birthday is already here!
• Our darling little angel was sent from Heaven above. Please celebrate her Baptism and surround her with your love.
• Many miles traveled and a lot of knowledge gained. Come celebrate Mark's graduation.
• We invite you to share our excitement, pride and love when our daughter Rebecca becomes a Bat Mitzvah.

BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES

• Come celebrate a birthday for and oldie but a goodie.
• Happy anniversary my love - I am so happy to be married to you.
• Happy Birthday - Hope your day is full of fun and laughter...
• Happy Birthday, Mom - You are the best Mom in the whole world!!
• To Angela, Happy birthday my love!!
• James' Birthday - Better Than Ever at 50!!

BUSINESS, OFFICE, WORK

• Best wishes - Wishing you good luck and success in all you do.
• Congratulations!! - Wow, you completed 5 years with us!!
• You've been working for 5 years with us. - But still feels like we have not known you enough.
• Walter, CEO of Facial Tissue Manufacturing Co., is said to have added pepper to tissues to increase sales.
• Catherine's Contact lens factory temporarily closed after they fell out
• Job experts Dennis Adams found that when cannibals are put in management positions, lots of heads roll...
• Customer of the Year - ABC Enterprise Wins Again!
• Jeffrey buys lunch. - Office closes. - Everyone in Shock!

FAVORITE PETS

• Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes
• Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one.
• Frogs have it easy... They can eat what bugs them!
• Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
• Heather discovers new more dangerous breed of sharks: upper dorsal fin is missing!

HOLIDAYS, CHRISTMAS, MOTHER'S DAY

• Happy Holidays - Merry Christmas and best wishes for the coming year.
• Season's Greetings - Wish you a fun-filled Christmas and a great New Year ahead!
• Dear Mom - Wish you a very happy Mother's day. I am so happy to be your daughter.
• Happy Diwali! - May your Diwali sparkle with joy and happiness!
• It's Easter! Eat whatever you find under the sofa. - Don't waste time wondering Which came first, the marshmallow chicken or the chocolate egg!
• Wish you happy holidays - But don't remain asleep till the last of the holiday season.
• Happy Eid ul-Fitr - May your prayers be heard and may Allah give you peace in your family.
• Warm wishes! - May your Christmas sparkle with joy and happiness!

HONOR, ACHIEVEMENTS

• Congratulations on you new home - Wish you good luck in the new area.
• Good luck... - Behind you are all your triumphs and achievements. Ahead of you lie new challenges and possibilities.
• Charles Carter invents two-armed bandit slot machines for people to get hugs when they lose.
• Best Sales Team on Earth! Sales Target overshot by 43%

HUMOR, JOKES, GAGS

• Thomas invents two new colors for blind people: light black and dark black.
• Ronald Moore just joined State Police - Mistook skiers wearing ski masks for robbers wearing skis...
• Steven Parker thought he saw a U.F.O. Turns out to be glow-in-the-dark Frisbee.
• Sharon, who lately joined M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Diving), reminds us concrete swimming pools are safer if they contain water.
• David & Cynthia say "I do" - Parents sigh with relief!!

NATURE, OUTDOORS, VACATIONS

• A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.
• Anthony on ego trip - Due to return in a week.
• Liu Wong negotiating with NASA to deliver take-out to International Space Station

NEWBORN, BABIES

• Congratulations - Adorable feet and cute little hands! Saying hold me, hold me in your arms!!
• Just heard about the little angel that has landed in your nest. Congratulations!!
• Little baby on the way... - Making Frances glow day by day.
• Jennifer Born May 25th - Say Good-Bye To Sleep!
• People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
• Stephen Matthew born May 22nd at 2:34 am - Welcomed with love.
• Andrew & Diane are excited to announce that Laura & Stephanie have doubled their home's population on January 10, 2008

PARTY, CELEBRATION, WEDDINGS

• To Mom and Dad on your anniversary... - You two make my life so wonderful. Happy anniversary!
• Warm wishes on your wedding - May God bless you with joy and happiness in the tomorrows...
• Ryan & Melissa to marry - Couple of the Year
• Some things are better the older they grow. Antiques, wine and Gerald, that someone special we know!
• Ashley met someone who can cook and do housework... She says she will not hesitate a minute, she will marry him.

SCHOOL, GRADUATION, TEENAGERS

• A graduation is the key to unlock doors of opportunity. Congrats buddy!
• Congratulations on your graduation Julia! - Remember when you close one chapter, the next chapter begins automatically.
• Congratulations Donald! - You are now a graduate. So no fooling around!
• It is always exciting to go back to school, for knowledge knows no bounds.
• Peter, the fun time's over. - The school books are back again.
• Michelle, Classes are over, no more lectures; now go and sleep until you hit a 24/7 job!
• Gook luck George! - On your forthcoming exams.
• Mark Simpson graduates. - Anderson High back to normal!
• Gary Bernardo gets diploma... - Teachers get relief!
• Patrick Brown Graduates... - School Board to investigate!
• Patricia cleans room. - Finds another room!

RETIREMENT, SENIOR BIRTHDAYS

• Ahh..retirement finally..no more work Harry... sleep all day - But remember you will not have dreams any more, as your dreams have come true.
• Congratulations on your retirement Lori!! - Thank you for all your work. You will be missed.
• All the best Theresa - Life is a big adventure. Seize each moment and make the best of it.
• Congratulations on your retirement Brandon!! - But remember you still have lawn-work to do!!
• Grandma Rose Hits 75 - The Best is Yet to Come!!
• Arthur B. Taylor retires! - Kapricorn Company stock plummets!
• Arthur B. Taylor retires! - Kapricorn Company stock rises!
• Louise, after years of hard work and dedication it's time to take a permanent vacation!
• Little Heather said: "Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting".
• Victor Campbell is retiring... to become his wife's full-time job.
• Raymond H. Miller retires. - Nobody notices!
• Don't play too much golf Howard. Two rounds a day are plenty.

ROMANCE, LOVE, FAMILY

• If I could rearrange the Alphabet, I would put U and I together.
• Samuel and Judy: A perfect match.! - The two of you set an example how a couple should be.
• Congratulations on your engagement Carlos and Irene - Wish you luck in your new life.
• Jacqueline, did I tell you? - That I like you, because you are very special.
• Get well soon Sara - May caring thoughts and warm wishes that come your way; Lift your spirits and brighten your day.
• Having you for a Mom was the best beginning of my life. - Happy Mother's Day with lots of love, Mom!
• I would like to tell you my secrets - "I miss you always"
• Love is in the air. - A celebration of love for you and me! Happy Valentine's Day!!
• Thinking of you today and everyday Jesse. - Hope you bounce back soon!!
• To a wonderful father.. - Sending a hug full of love to a wonderful father. Happy father's day DAD!
• A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
• Rachel and Randy, Happy Valentines Day - You're a Special Couple!

SHOW BUSINESS

• Jonathan's heading for Hollywood: "If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it."
• Piano player Douglas Robinson loses his keys...
• It's Show Time! Help me celebrate my 8th Birthday at a Karaoke Partyli>
• Keep the treat ready, or make the night scary!! - Happy Halloween!

SPORTS, LITTLE LEAGUES

• François, Hot dog manufacturer, wins tour de frank.
• Lawrence Bernachez shoots 104 - Caddy faints!
• Edward Hits 82! - President Declares Holiday!
• Juan Garcia gets 1st Hit! - Drafted #1 by Yankees
• Justin catches firts pass - Runs for touchdown
• Baseball, football, tennis, anyone? Lookout Little League, here comes Benjamin, our son!
• Bobby Minkel scores in overtime and Bear Mountain Flames win Little League Cup! - Bobby named Player of the Year!
• Blue Rockets win! - Gerry Mulroney Coach of the Year.